This week was so hard for me.
I started a new Etsy print-on-demand shop with a whole new niche and target audience that I never thought about before and I worked my ass off to get 33 listings in 4 days. When I got my first sale – that just so happens to be my brother – and then I find out that I had to pay the POD company the production beforehand. I said, “WHAT! I HAVE NO MONEY! THAT’S WHY I OPENED UP THE SHOP IN THE FIRST PLACE!” I immediately got a panic attack.
I couldn’t breath.
I started pacing back and fourth in my living room and called my brother to tell him what’s going on.
I was getting 30 views a day. What if people had started making orders and I couldn’t fulfill them?
Panic attack after panic attack.
I ended up canceling my brother’s order and closing my shop within minutes. I just knew I wasn’t going to be able to do it.
I felt like a failure.
When my husband came home from work, I had to tell him what was going on and my sweet husband kept reassuring me that it was all going to be okay. That I am putting too much pressure on myself because I want to retire him so we can leave the U.S. as soon as possible. He told me that it was not my burden to carry, but his. But what kind of wife and mom would I be if I didn’t at least try to make money in a way that I don’t have to leave the house and I can still stay home with the kids?
I need to learn not to be so hard on myself. I need to learn that the burden of provision is not mines to carry. That my husband signed up for this. That he signed up for wake up at 6 am everyday to make sure we have a roof over our heads and food on the table…
Are you hard on yourself?
Do you put too much pressure on yourself to do something that you don’t have to do at all? Are you anything like me?
If you are, I want you to do this, and I will too…
Breath. Relax.
Know that things don’t always go our way and the last thing we need to do is panic. You do too much already.
Know your strengths and weaknesses
I’ve known that I wasn’t not raised with a business mentality. I saw my mother start a few businesses and they all failed. But it would’ve been nice to know how to start a business and actually execute it with the right mindset. So for this post, my weakness is starting a business and seeing it through. What is yours? Dig deep and write it down. How can you make it better?
Don’t push yourself to a point of no return
Give yourself grace and don’t push yourself to the point where your anxiety might get worse. It’s okay to push yourself past your limits, but once you feel like you’re “going crazy”, STOP. Take a step back and take a break.
Try again…and again…and again…
Even if this new business venture I tired failed, guess what? That will not stop me. I know what I want for myself, my children and my husband. I know that what I want, I will not get in a 2-bedroom apartment in New York. So I keep going, just as should you. If one business doesn’t do well, try another one, and another one, and another one, until one that actually sticks and gives you the freedom that you want.
Write a love letter to little you
There are so much that we went through as kids whether that was any kind of abuse, rejection, loss of a loved on, abandonment…the list goes on. I want you to remember that even though you had to grow up faster than you should’ve, there’s still that little girl in you that needs you to be kind to yourself. That little girl is trapped in a grown woman’s body who has already given birth, probably married, and has to go through a ton of things without the chance to take a breather and reflect. Write a love letter to little you and tell her that she is safe; loved; wanted; cared for…everything that you probably weren’t. And tell her, that she will be okay…
It’s hard not to feel like a failure when all you do is feel like you’re failing in everything; motherhood, marriage, keeping the house clean and everything else in between. Just know that you are safe and you are loved, and you are stronger than you know.